Your Queer Weekly Horoscope: April 1-7

Welcome to your Queer Weekly Horoscope, a bite-sized look at the coming days broken down by your zodiac sign.

Prepare for mayhem! On April 1, Mercury turns retrograde and wreaks havoc on communication —and sadly, that is not an April Fool’s joke. But despite the chaos, major life developments are still underway this week. The Sun’s conjunction with the North Node leads most of the zodiac determinedly into the future. Desire-inspiring Venus begins the week in Pisces, where it passes through an intuitive partnership with Neptune. Then Venus joins the Sun in Aries, where it forms a pact of metamorphosis with Pluto. Meanwhile, the Last Quarter Moon in Capricorn starts emotionally preparing everyone for next week’s total solar eclipse.

Aries starts the race for this weekly horoscope, then we’ll sprint through each sign until everyone’s destiny is foretold. If you know more of your placements than your Sun Sign alone (Moon, Rising, Mars, etc.), check their entries as well to get a full picture of your astrological forecast.

What the stars are up to:

• The Sun, Mercury, Chiron, and the North Node are in your sign. Your ruler Mars is in Pisces.
• On April Fool’s Day, Mercury turns retrograde.
• The Sun passes through conjunction with the North Node.
• Venus moves from Pisces to your sign. Venus forms a sextile with Pluto.
• The waning crescent Moon in your sign forms a sextile with Pluto and passes through conjunction with Venus.

What it means:

April Fool’s Day is going to progress totally peacefully and uneventfully … hahaha, psych! The morning of April 1 is fine, but by evening Mercury turns retrograde. If you’re planning any silly pranks, make sure you pull them in the A.M. in order to avoid breakups and burnt bridges. Whatever the outcome, you’re launching to a new stage of life later this week when the Sun joins forces with the North Node of destiny! Here’s hoping this celestial collaboration will lead to the self-discovery you want; it’s certainly going to slap you in the face with awareness that will significantly affect your future. But even if it’s not what you expected, the knowledge will still be valuable. Afterward, the planet of desire swings into your sign and sparks off a friendly but intense hook-up with the astrological representative of major life change, and the Moon cruises in close to watch and cheer from the sidelines. You’re going to yearn for something new from the very bottom of your heart, immediately after experiencing an epiphany about your future, while interpersonal communication systems are malfunctioning on all levels.

Wheee, now this is an Aries season! Where’s the fun in life without a little danger? Maybe there will even be a few explosions…

What the stars are up to:

• Jupiter and Uranus are in your sign.
• Your sign ruler Venus begins the week in Pisces, where it passes through conjunction with Neptune.
• Venus moves from Pisces to Aries, then forms a sextile with Pluto.

What it means:

Wow, you just love surprises. The sudden, drastic reversal of expectations? You just can’t get enough of it! APRIL FOOL’S! (About the you-loving-surprises part, that is.) The threat of incoming change is unfortunately legitimate, but you’ll have a sixth sense that it’s about to get you before it leaps out from around the corner for a jump scare. If you want to feel prepared for what lies ahead, take time to hang out with a Pisces early in the week. They won’t know how they’re helping you or even realize that they are warning you, but trust me, it will still work. Even five minutes in a Fish Sign’s presence will help you sniff out the source of your looming shift in fate.